Post by Lunawisper on Nov 7, 2007 6:51:46 GMT -5
Need a cheep laugh? Here's a couple jokes I have to pass along.
Three Workers
One Day, three constructors were taking their lunch break ontop of the building they were almost finished with...
One of the constructors had opened his lunchbox and gagged slightly.
"Ham AGAIN?! Ugh...If I have ham one more time, I'm going to jump off this building!"
The second constructor had opened his lunchbox at the same time and was equaly, if not MORE disgusted by what he had been brought for lunch.
"Ham's not so bad, but I swear, if I have another pastrami sandwhich again, I'm gonna jump off this building!"
The third, who also had his lunchbox open wide to reveal a turkey sandwhich grumbled slightly under his breath and added to the growing conversation by saying
"You both are crazy, ham is okay, but pastrami is delicious!...If I have to have another turkey sandwich, I swear, I'M gonna jump from this building!"
And so the three workers traded sandwiches and ate their lunches without complaint.
...Untill the next day.
The first constructor opened his lunchbox to discover ham, he lept off the building plummeting to his death.
The second discovered pastrami, and in pure disgust, he lept off and made a crimson splattery mess on the sidewalk below.
The third gave a dissapointed look at the turkey sandwich residing faithfully in the box and he decided to greet death at the bottom of the building with a single jump.
...Three days later, the three concerned wives met ontop of the building to discuss their losses.
"Well, I made my husband a ham sandwich every day...I don't know what went wrong..." replied the wife of the first constructor.
"I made my husband a pastrami sandwich every day..." replied the wife of the second constructor.
The third one was quiet for a while, trying to make sense of this and finaly piped up "Well, I don't know what my husband had for lunch...He always made his own lunch."
~Told By: Unknown. (I dunno if I told it correctly either, I heard it one day and thought I would share it.)
Invisible Bench
One day, Mary was sitting down on what seemed to be nothing but thin air, she was positioned as if she was sitting on a chair. As Jamie walked by, he boggled as he looked at her actions and asked "What are you doing?"
"Sitting on the invisible bench!" replied Mary to Jamie. "Wanna join me?"
"Sure!" said Jamie to Mary as he joined her on the bench.
Eventualy, an old lady called Gina was taking a stroll through the park and gave a speculating glance toword the youngsters on the bench.
"What are you two doing?" asked Gina.
"Sitting on the invisible bench!" chimed Mary and Jamie at the same time.
"Wanna join?" asked Mary.
"Sure." replied Gina as she sat with them...
Now eventualy, more and more people began to join the three of them on the bench and eventualy the bench was overcrouded with yelling and bickering people trying to coax the others to get off of themselves...
Alex had seen enough and asked the people on the bench "Hey, what are you all doing?"
"Sitting on...Mmph-Get off, Bob!-Sorry...We're sitting on the...-ow, watch it!-Invisible bench." replied Jamie in a struggle as people were crushing every bone in his body.
"But...The invisible bench was moved yesterday." Alex informed the mass...
And on that, everyone fell over, crashing to the ground with cuss words strewn about the air.
~My Friend, though was originaly a script, and the people didn't have names.
Three Workers
One Day, three constructors were taking their lunch break ontop of the building they were almost finished with...
One of the constructors had opened his lunchbox and gagged slightly.
"Ham AGAIN?! Ugh...If I have ham one more time, I'm going to jump off this building!"
The second constructor had opened his lunchbox at the same time and was equaly, if not MORE disgusted by what he had been brought for lunch.
"Ham's not so bad, but I swear, if I have another pastrami sandwhich again, I'm gonna jump off this building!"
The third, who also had his lunchbox open wide to reveal a turkey sandwhich grumbled slightly under his breath and added to the growing conversation by saying
"You both are crazy, ham is okay, but pastrami is delicious!...If I have to have another turkey sandwich, I swear, I'M gonna jump from this building!"
And so the three workers traded sandwiches and ate their lunches without complaint.
...Untill the next day.
The first constructor opened his lunchbox to discover ham, he lept off the building plummeting to his death.
The second discovered pastrami, and in pure disgust, he lept off and made a crimson splattery mess on the sidewalk below.
The third gave a dissapointed look at the turkey sandwich residing faithfully in the box and he decided to greet death at the bottom of the building with a single jump.
...Three days later, the three concerned wives met ontop of the building to discuss their losses.
"Well, I made my husband a ham sandwich every day...I don't know what went wrong..." replied the wife of the first constructor.
"I made my husband a pastrami sandwich every day..." replied the wife of the second constructor.
The third one was quiet for a while, trying to make sense of this and finaly piped up "Well, I don't know what my husband had for lunch...He always made his own lunch."
~Told By: Unknown. (I dunno if I told it correctly either, I heard it one day and thought I would share it.)
Invisible Bench
One day, Mary was sitting down on what seemed to be nothing but thin air, she was positioned as if she was sitting on a chair. As Jamie walked by, he boggled as he looked at her actions and asked "What are you doing?"
"Sitting on the invisible bench!" replied Mary to Jamie. "Wanna join me?"
"Sure!" said Jamie to Mary as he joined her on the bench.
Eventualy, an old lady called Gina was taking a stroll through the park and gave a speculating glance toword the youngsters on the bench.
"What are you two doing?" asked Gina.
"Sitting on the invisible bench!" chimed Mary and Jamie at the same time.
"Wanna join?" asked Mary.
"Sure." replied Gina as she sat with them...
Now eventualy, more and more people began to join the three of them on the bench and eventualy the bench was overcrouded with yelling and bickering people trying to coax the others to get off of themselves...
Alex had seen enough and asked the people on the bench "Hey, what are you all doing?"
"Sitting on...Mmph-Get off, Bob!-Sorry...We're sitting on the...-ow, watch it!-Invisible bench." replied Jamie in a struggle as people were crushing every bone in his body.
"But...The invisible bench was moved yesterday." Alex informed the mass...
And on that, everyone fell over, crashing to the ground with cuss words strewn about the air.
~My Friend, though was originaly a script, and the people didn't have names.
You can bow to me now. Thanks to lemonachi for the icons!
